In the intricate world of Indian arranged marriages, the checklist for a perfect partner is notoriously long. Families scrutinise everything from ancestral lineage and annual packages to horoscope compatibility. However, according to health and fitness coach Sanya Wadhera, there is a glaring, dangerous omission in these ’50-item lists’: health. Also read | Couples who sweat together, stay together
Fitness coach Sanya Wadhera says that after marriage, hold each other accountable – it’s not about being perfect, it’s about being healthy together. (Freepk)
She took to X on March 12, to pull back the curtain on the ‘post-shaadi (marriage)’ weight gain and physical decline that many Indian couples consider an inevitability. Sanya said: ‘India’s arranged marriage checklist has 50 items. Health isn’t one of them.’ Her critique strikes at the heart of a cultural phenomenon in which ‘settling down’ often means ‘letting go’.
The ‘before and after’ reality check
Sanya pointed out a sharp contrast between the disciplined individuals entering a marriage and the lifestyle-compromised couple they often become. “Before shaadi: He’s in the gym. Best shape of his life. She’s eating clean. Best she’s ever looked,” Sanya noted.
The decline, she explained, is a slow but steady timeline of enabling:
Month 1: The ‘honeymoon weight’ phase where indulgence is encouraged.
Month 3: The gym is cancelled under the guise of ‘ghar sambhalna hai (taking care of the home)’.
Year 2: A 15 kg weight gain is dismissed with the phrase, ‘shaadi ke baad sab aise hote hain (everyone becomes like this after marriage)’.
Why routines collapse
According to Sanya, the weight gain isn’t just about the food; it’s about the structural collapse of individual boundaries. She identified three primary reasons why couples lose their way:
⦿ Merged routines, shared failures: when two people move in together, their habits collide. Often, couples adjust to the ‘worst version’ of each other’s habits rather than the best, Sanya shared.
⦿ The social multiplier: social obligations double. “You can’t say no because now you’re saying no as a couple,” Sanya said, adding that this leads to twice as many functions and twice the pressure to overeat.
⦿ The ‘settled’ excuse: the phrase ‘settle ho gaya (he/she is settled)’ becomes a catch-all excuse to stop training and caring. “Both enabled each other because it’s easier to gain weight together than to stay accountable alone,” Sanya added.
Reclaiming health: the new marriage protocol
To combat this trend, Sanya suggested that couples need to redefine what love looks like in a domestic setting. She shared that true partnership involves holding each other to a higher standard of well-being.
Here is Sanya’s blueprint for a healthy marriage:
⦿ The honest audit: sit down for one honest conversation — not about calories, but about how you actually feel in your bodies.
⦿ The anchor meal: commit to fixing one meal a day together that consists of ‘real food’.
⦿ The 30-minute rule: find a window — a post-dinner walk or a Saturday morning gym session — that you do together.
⦿ Accountability over enablers: She challenged the notion that laziness is a form of affection. “‘Aaj chhod de’ (leave it today) is not love. Helping each other stay healthy is,” Sanya concluded.
As India continues to grapple with rising rates of lifestyle-related diseases, Sanya’s message is clear: the most important item on the marriage checklist shouldn’t be what you bring to the bank, but what you bring to the breakfast table.
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.
